If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
