okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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