I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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