Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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