it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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