I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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