Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
