His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
