remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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