Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
