I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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