i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
