I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
