You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
