My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
