So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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