do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
