Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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