Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
