I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
