remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you would pick up someone in the library
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
