Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
