So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Randomize
