We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize