Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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