sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander