That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
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you will always have a special place in my vag
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
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Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?