For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.