Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  I woke up on my floor...

  (1-516): View more from New York

  I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...

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  (516): I woke up on my floor... (1-516): I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop... http://tfl.nu/u1o5
  Replies (12) Good night (3969) Bad night (758)
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  (415): View more from California

  No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."

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  (415): No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love." http://tfl.nu/xky8
  Replies (91) Good night (4606) Bad night (1304)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.

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  (512): You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore. http://tfl.nu/p34m
  Replies (8) Good night (1276) Bad night (3251)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.

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  (404): I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner. http://tfl.nu/q9zc
  Replies (2) Good night (2786) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  the snow is so cold on my vagina.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  why do you have snow on your vagina?

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  vodka and heels.

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  (580): the snow is so cold on my vagina. (405): why do you have snow on your vagina? (580): vodka and heels. http://tfl.nu/uvnf
  Replies (45) Good night (6355) Bad night (1463)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.

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  (832): I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie. http://tfl.nu/bxsq
  Replies (45) Good night (5657) Bad night (1317)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Say it nicely.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

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  (303): Say it nicely. (1-303): Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy? http://tfl.nu/5ned
  Replies (51) Good night (16637) Bad night (1480)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard

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  (484): we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard http://tfl.nu/y3gw
  Replies (11) Good night (8543) Bad night (1026)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet

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  (519): Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet http://tfl.nu/qweh
  Replies (5) Good night (1617) Bad night (700)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  This is why Helen Keller didn't drink

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  (902): This is why Helen Keller didn't drink http://tfl.nu/wpjw
  Replies (8) Good night (943) Bad night (564)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.

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  (317): Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over. http://tfl.nu/42be
  Replies (6) Good night (853) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  How do we stop her downward spiral?

  (1-510): View more from California

  Wine. For us.

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  (510): How do we stop her downward spiral? (1-510): Wine. For us. http://tfl.nu/x3co
  Replies (6) Good night (635) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Sex in the moonbounce later?

  (801): View more from Utah

  This is why I love you.

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  (435): Sex in the moonbounce later? (801): This is why I love you. http://tfl.nu/fq99
  Replies (2) Good night (920) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.

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  (250): i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship. http://tfl.nu/cj66
  Replies (1) Good night (644) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR

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  (416): Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR http://tfl.nu/4v5r
  Replies (2) Good night (446) Bad night (332)

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