a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
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she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
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Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.