My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Im part way to drunk.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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