was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
