Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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