Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
