So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize