We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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