Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
