I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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