i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
