no, he came in my armpit
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
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I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
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Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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