I want to walk on stilts...naked
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize