I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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