i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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