Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
