Small penises have feelings too.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
