My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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