gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
