i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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