Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
accomplished twins. life is a go
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
