Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
