anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
