Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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