She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
