I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize