How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
There's even glitter on my cock...
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