My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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