Christians are straight up FREAKS
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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