you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
