I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
